Escape...

my heart is empty

my feelings aren't well

everything is not ok recently

I always wish that I'm cold blooded

no feelings, at least, I won't feel sad and heart won't aches

or if I can lost my memory

at least I can forget all those sadness

even I will forget happiness too

I felt myself going back to who I was

no friends, fake smile and laugh

cinemas and shopping alone

sitting infront of my laptop, starring the screen,

scrolling up and down, don't know what myself is doing

sometimes I wish I could just give up everything

all my studies, assignments, future career, family, friends

I wanna rest

a 2-week semester break is not enough for me

I know my academic results aren't that good

I know my learning ability is slow

I know I can't get along with people, at least not in short time

I know I'm always slacking, emotional

but

I don't know where my motivations had gone

the only thing that can motivate me to do is sleep

at least I don't need to think when I'm sleeping

at least I don't need to care what happened around me

although bad dreams make me cries, nightmare makes me awake

yea, I know

I'm just wanting to escape from everything...