Monday, April 23, 2012

轻小说-之1

夜里,冷风吹过,无人的街上,站着一对男女
他们在拥抱?不、是在街头亲吻吗?也不对...
不是!那男的露出了尖牙、往那女生的颈项咬了下去!

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蕾坐在教室的最后靠窗位置上,望着窗外一个人发呆。
【呐、蕾!听说了吗?昨天!昨天发生了不得了的事情哦!】友人A一大清早跑进教室,书包都还没放下就过来说着一些不知哪来的八卦新闻了。
【什么"友人A“啊?蕾你也太无情了吧?我们可是认识了5年的朋友耶!】
【啊,是的,我的梨惠大小姐~ 昨晚怎么了吗?】蕾没力气的说着。
【哼哼~ 算你识趣!嘿嘿~ 你听我说!昨天啊、吸血鬼出现了!就在椿树公园!】
梨惠瞪大眼睛的说着、眼睛更是露出僮景的眼神。接着激动的说道:
【听说那只吸血鬼吸了一个女国中生的血呢!不知道帅不帅呢?听说啊、他们都是很漂亮、很帅、又聪明的呢!啊,真希望他吸我的血呢!!】
唉...这家伙...蕾心里想着,要是真的遇到了吸血鬼你大概会死掉吧?
无奈的看着好友笑说:【好啦,老师快要来了,放下你的书包准备上课啦!】
【是!蕾大人!嘻嘻~】
随后,蕾的脸立即没了笑容... 眼神也变得严肃起来了...

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嗨嗨,大家好!这是本人第一次尝试写小说呢!
希望大家多多指教!欢迎大家给点意见哦 ^^

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Birthday

What is Birthday?
celebration? party? cakes? candles? presents? wishes? laughter and crazy?
no. none of them suits what I have these years

birthday doesn't give me special meaning after my 12th
nope, no celebration, no party, no cake, no presents, no wishes
or erm, some, a few will send me a happy-birthday-sms
and recent years is worst
I can count those wishes within one hand, 5 fingers
same goes to the thing called present
I even bought present and a piece of cake for myself 
using my own money, eating that piece of cake alone. lol

I envy, I jealous when I saw people celebrating their birthdays
with their friends and family, happily
and my mood always goes down

I always wish that someone would give me a surprise party
I always wish that I will have many presents
I always wish that I can have my birthday smiling, laughing
but it always turn out as if it is a normal day
like the days I have everyday

I started not to go to other people's birthday party
cause it will make me feel sad inside
cause I don't have such celebration
I won't enjoy even if I go, I can't smile from my heart

it no longer mean anything special to me...

Saturday, February 18, 2012

home...

as I grew older, I hate to go home
I don't hate because I'm not born in a rich family
not because they can't afford to buy me an iPhone or iPad or whatever "i' it is

I hate because it was once a warm family
or it pretends to be when I was small
I once had a great time with my parents and brother
we always go for vacation whenever there is a holiday
even though it is not overseas, I'm still happy
he works, very hard, in my memory
yes he did, he was, yea, the word "was"

that time I was 13, I don't know why he stopped working
when I was 17, I know why
you always think that you are well-experienced, highly capable
you always think that you are always-right-person, the others are shit
even now, I'm 20, you're still the same
you think you're the best, we're always wrong
you never get along with people, always argue with others
wanting to be dominant

yes, I admit that you are experienced, you do have the knowledge at work
but have you ever think that this is 21st century now? there is something called Internet...
the new generation can easily replace you? you are already 60...
and people have rights and wrongs... why can't you just forgive others for doing wrong sometimes?
and why can't you just admit it when you're wrong sometimes?
why do you have to treat your child like your workers? giving orders to 'em?
why do you need your child to be genius? 
thinking they can do everything thus ask them to solve everything by themselves?
questioning them why they can't get the first place at school?

I remember very well, you always used to say "one wrong, both punish"
me and my brother
you claimed it as a fairness, we see it as unfairness
why do I have to be cane when brother is wrong?
or why my bro have to be cane when I was wrong?
this is not fair at all

I used to think that you're a good father
but I hate it when I see you drunk
you scold us without reasons every time you're drunk and came home
and there was once I saw you came home and fell on the corridor of living room
my mom have to drag you all the way back room
you're 6 feet tall, my mom is just 5 feet ... and you're not skinny nor slim...
I was primary school and this scene had been carve into my memory deeply

I saw my mom crying in the middle of the night, many times
I saw her diary, I knew you have affair out there
but she did not leave you and this home
that was 10 years back
10 years later, now
I know you have affair out there, again
my mom never cries anymore
but I know her heart hurts

plus, we all know, you  have not been giving her expenses for many years
you always act as if it is non of your business
water leaking from ceiling, termites, sand leaking from don't-know-where
toilet flush problem
you never attend to these problems
as if this is not your house, as if you don't know what's going on
you never cares

all these... it makes me hate...
you make me hate, I mean, us
me, my brother, and my mom...
this is no longer the warm family I thought when I was in nursery...
I'm now staying at hostel... I feel not to go home...
I don't want to see or talk to you...

Escape...

my heart is empty
my feelings aren't well
everything is not ok recently

I always wish that I'm cold blooded
no feelings, at least, I won't feel sad and heart won't aches
or if I can lost my memory
at least I can forget all those sadness
even I will forget happiness too

I felt myself going back to who I was
no friends, fake smile and laugh
cinemas and shopping alone
sitting infront of my laptop, starring the screen,
scrolling up and down, don't know what myself is doing

sometimes I wish I could just give up everything
all my studies, assignments, future career, family, friends
I wanna rest
a 2-week semester break is not enough for me
I know my academic results aren't that good
I know my learning ability is slow
I know I can't get along with people, at least not in short time
I know I'm always slacking, emotional

but
I don't know where my motivations had gone
the only thing that can motivate me to do is sleep
at least I don't need to think when I'm sleeping
at least I don't need to care what happened around me
although bad dreams make me cries, nightmare makes me awake

yea, I know
I'm just wanting to escape from everything...

Monday, July 18, 2011

2011の夏祭

2011年7月16日

又到了這個節日呢
每年都一定會出席、都一定會和魚、Catz一起出席的祭典 \(≧▽≦)/
今年當然也不例外啦❤
雖然今年少了山豬、禿頭和墨墨、竹竹他們 ><
可是還是有原班人馬的我們三人+Elaine
今年的三人照【左起:Elaine,魚魚,我】

一如往常的   我們還是遲到了 ((喂!
可是今年沒辦法啦   魚的老闆娘那樣 =3=
我們在Mid Valley集合了之後就開始換衣咯
今年魚超厲害的❤
我們的obi都綁到超❤美的❤
不過魚今年沒那麼辛苦啦   因為只有我們仨需要幫忙穿浴衣罷了
而且化妝、頭髮都不用魚幫忙   省了很多力和時間呢 —w—

我的浴衣【背後】
 我的浴衣【前面】

準備好我們就出發咯
雖然火車又遲到也流了很多汗   可是幸好火車上有冷氣
舒服丫❤
這三人在車上一直玩自拍   還和魚拍超醜的照片
魚還一直說這些照片放出去   我們兩個不用嫁出去了 【爆笑】

 嫁不出去的兩人【我會被揍>A<】
來個裝可愛 【噗】

過了45分鐘左右終於到了會場呢 \(>_<)///
意外的看到很少“海鮮類”了呢   可是人群還是一樣多 @.@
狠心的魚魚竟然拋下我以其人看著包包自己和朋友跑去買食物了
還沒買給我的說 【泣】
不過幸好有Catz Catz (,,>w<..)   和那位攝影師朋友
他們超厲害的   竟然自己帶了個冰箱來   還有各式各樣的飲料的說 (*´∀`*b)
還有免費的栗子雪糕❤ 和烏冬面❤
不用自己去買咯   真是太好了ヽ( ´¬`)ノ

今年的毛毛蟲跳了兩個回合的舞呢   超開心的 ♪♪♪
相隔1年再回去shah alam 的我   竟然還記得怎麼跳
而且真的有感覺到   比起檳城的   shah alam 的舞容易跳多了  =.=
第一回的時候大家還在吃   都沒去跳
到了第二回   我拉了Elaine 兩個人去跳 \(^ω^\)( /^ω^)/
到了最後一回   大家都一起   全部去跳了 ❤
啊對了   今年約了兩個友人見面   終於見到了丫 (* ̄∇ ̄)
可愛的Carol 和 超漂亮的 Chris <---讓人火大的漂亮 【噗~】
還意外撞見 Valkyrie 呢❤

今年的殘念事件 ===> 沒有買到 ASAHI !!!!!
【坐角落畫圈圈......】
不過總結來說還是玩得很開心呢 ❤
還要謝謝魚魚~ 謝謝她幫我們穿浴衣❤
還有讓我寄宿她的家 (ノ≧∇≦)ノ

吶~ 魚啊~ Catz 啊~ 
明年... 我們也要一起去哦❤ 

 今年四人的唯一合照(?) 【囧】



Tuesday, June 7, 2011

那頭長髮...

一直以為 把它剪了 我一定會哭
一直以為 沒了它 我一定會很難過
原來 都不會
相反的 把它剪了 我覺得很輕鬆
很自在 也不再emo了

才發現 原來
那頭長髮里 留的是這兩年多以來的悲傷

陪著我傷心、哭泣的長髮
一直以來都不捨得剪掉 因為要把它留長 需要2年多
而且 我很喜歡長髮的自己 可以做很多不同的造型

可是這一天 我終於下定決心了 把它剪掉
不想再猶豫 不想再留念以前的一切
把它剪了吧 不留情的剪掉吧
對啊
頭髮剪了 總有一天它會長的嘛 爲什麽不捨得呢
給自己一個機會 給自己從新開始 不是很好嗎

剪了 短了 長髮沒了 從腰到肩膀 沒了
一點也不痛 一點也不傷心 一點也不留戀
才發現  原來自己 並不是那麼的執著啊...

在那之後 和【那位】說話也不再心痛了 不再有太多的顧慮
不再那麼的執著他了

才發現 長髮里 留的確實是悲傷啊...
把悲傷剪掉 真的感覺很不錯呢

你的長髮里... 留的是否也和我一樣... 是悲傷呢...?
試看把它們剪掉吧... 或許...

你會發現... 真的沒那麼執著于他/它呢...?

Monday, May 2, 2011

對你的殘忍就是對我自己的殘忍嗎?

這句話   有多真實   有多虛假   不經歷不知道
對你說出殘忍的話   自己的心卻在痛
人類還真是可笑至極了

我不瞭解你   一點都不瞭解
對於你的事情   你總是什麽都不說
你總是把自己的事情藏在心裡
或許   我不是那個可以讓你打開心門的人
可是你有困難   你卻什麽都不說   那我呢?
我知道了過後有多難受你知道嗎?

你不能來   你不說   等到最後一秒讓我發現你沒聯絡我
問你   你才告訴我你不能出門
你能明白這種心情嗎?   或許你的心情也會不好
可是我寧願你早幾天告訴我你不能來  
總比你臨時、等我發現的時候、才說出口   好很多
你就是那樣   什麽都不說
總是要等我自己去發現

【對不起】 這句話   我聽了很多次
厭了   倦了   我也累了
對不起不能解決一切   我只是想要你對我坦白
可以就說可以   不可以就說不可以   就算是臨時不可以你也要說
不要讓我一個人傻傻的等你來   才發現   你根本就不會來

我笨   對   我承認   可是請你不要那樣對我
我只是想要聽多點你的事情   跟你多聊幾句話
一次又一次的說沒關係   伴隨著多少的心痛
你會不會也一樣心痛   我不知道
因為我不是你   我也不瞭解你   你也不曾對我說你的感受

今天你又說了對不起   我累了
我不想說【沒關係】了   換成了淡淡的一句【對不起什麽】
你不再回覆   我也不再追問   不想聽到會讓我心軟的話
不想聽到更心痛的話   不想聽到會哭的話
至於那句話   到底意味著什麽   我自己也不懂
是想忘記那些不好, 原諒你嗎?   還是忘記【你】嗎?

說出這句話   心   痛了   可是
再怎麼都好   我說過不會再流淚   我就不會再流下一滴眼淚
你要不要回覆我   隨便你了。。。

玻璃的心、沒溫度可卻是最容易破碎的