as I grew older, I hate to go homeI don't hate because I'm not born in a rich family
not because they can't afford to buy me an iPhone or iPad or whatever "i' it is
I hate because it was once a warm family
or it pretends to be when I was small
I once had a great time with my parents and brother
we always go for vacation whenever there is a holiday
even though it is not overseas, I'm still happy
he works, very hard, in my memory
yes he did, he was, yea, the word "was"
that time I was 13, I don't know why he stopped working
when I was 17, I know why
you always think that you are well-experienced, highly capable
you always think that you are always-right-person, the others are shit
even now, I'm 20, you're still the same
you think you're the best, we're always wrong
you never get along with people, always argue with others
wanting to be dominant
yes, I admit that you are experienced, you do have the knowledge at work
but have you ever think that this is 21st century now? there is something called Internet...
the new generation can easily replace you? you are already 60...
and people have rights and wrongs... why can't you just forgive others for doing wrong sometimes?
and why can't you just admit it when you're wrong sometimes?
why do you have to treat your child like your workers? giving orders to 'em?
why do you need your child to be genius?
thinking they can do everything thus ask them to solve everything by themselves?
questioning them why they can't get the first place at school?
I remember very well, you always used to say "one wrong, both punish"
me and my brother
you claimed it as a fairness, we see it as unfairness
why do I have to be cane when brother is wrong?
or why my bro have to be cane when I was wrong?
this is not fair at all
I used to think that you're a good father
but I hate it when I see you drunk
you scold us without reasons every time you're drunk and came home
and there was once I saw you came home and fell on the corridor of living room
my mom have to drag you all the way back room
you're 6 feet tall, my mom is just 5 feet ... and you're not skinny nor slim...
I was primary school and this scene had been carve into my memory deeply
I saw my mom crying in the middle of the night, many times
I saw her diary, I knew you have affair out there
but she did not leave you and this home
that was 10 years back
10 years later, now
I know you have affair out there, again
my mom never cries anymore
but I know her heart hurts
plus, we all know, you have not been giving her expenses for many years
you always act as if it is non of your business
water leaking from ceiling, termites, sand leaking from don't-know-where
toilet flush problem
you never attend to these problems
as if this is not your house, as if you don't know what's going on
you never cares
all these... it makes me hate...
you make me hate, I mean, us
me, my brother, and my mom...
this is no longer the warm family I thought when I was in nursery...
I'm now staying at hostel... I feel not to go home...
I don't want to see or talk to you...
